Dammit (the Blink182 shpelling, mmmmbitches!)

Yea, I really hate compusa. A lot.

WTF mate?

W...T...F

No computer yet...

Not yet...

It seems that I'm a very bipolar person. When I write posts like the last one, I'm really passionate and into it, but I come back a few days later and then I realize that what I said is infact rather strong and sometimes just fucking crazy. I'm not going to apologize for anything I said, because I still feel that way deep down. I know I do. Perhaps I could be a little more eloquent in the future, but, I probably won't be. So, fuck that. See? I'm bipolar, but there are bits and pieces of me that remain with my thoughts no matter what my mood is.

Seems I've been angry for a while. Yep. Don't know why. Just have been. Well, maybe a part of me deep down knows why, but I haven't really been prying into my own head much. It's a scary place. So, for all y'all I've pissed off, tell ya what: If I seem angry or out of it, it's not at you. I'm just a little uptight, that's all.

So, turns out, my computer won't be back for a few more days, so I'm going to put Poem Of The Week on hiatus a little bit longer. Sorry bout that. I need to write new poems anyway. So, everyone just hold on for a while.

Get moving...

God Fucking Dammit, I hate women.

Let me explain my statement before I am destroyed by every woman friend that I have. When I say I hate women, I mean that I hate how I react around them. First off, when it comes to girls that I like, my brain shuts down and no longer functions. The fact that a pretty face and a nice personality has that power over me really pisses me off. Second off, I really don't like how guys (or at least from my experience, me) have to jump through mental (and sometimes physical) hoops in order to fulfill what they believe the girl's wishes are. Which, coincidentally, usually isn't true. Love (or at least a crush) fucks up the rational part of a human and makes them do stupid shit, which I also dislike. Then, there is that whole thought process driven by fear of whether or not the girl likes you. The whole shi-bang, does she think I'm attractive, does she think that I'm nice, that I'm kind, etc. Include with the above a person's defintion of Love and the desires and needs that a person feels a relationship must meet (along with trying to define those needs). Oh, and don't fucking forget the thoughts of whether or not an attempt at love is practical because of things like distance, age, and to a lesser extent, religion. Combine all of these, add in a dash of misfortune, a twig of emo, and all of the propaganda and bullshit Hollywood puts in our heads, and you get my struggle for Love, that fucking battle that everyone goes through at one point in their lives or another. Some people hit it at their first try, and others never find it. But those are extremes. I'd like to think I'll someday end up in the middle of it all, not hitting it at first but finding it in the end.

Now, I KNOW that I'm not perfect. Nor am I the type (usually) to sit around, wanting love and blasting my Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard Confessional CDs on my (broken) computer 24/7. I have to babysit and work now and then, so I don't have the luxury. But if I did, I wouldn't, because I also know that if there is something in this world that I want, I have to go out and get it. Love doesn't come around to your doorstep, ring your bell, let itself in, then sit down on your bed and take off its clothes and let you fuck it. You have to at least take off Love's pants (I know I said I'd cut back on the sarcasm, but FUCK THAT, I'm not changing who I am for someone else. Not anymore, at least). Too bad all my angry poems are on my old busted computer...

Anyway, I'm not perfect. But so what? I'm damn good, and that should suffice. I'm not talking about a relationship, I'm talking in general. But let's get back to the relationship. This post isn't trying to make a statement, or prove a point, it's just a rant, that's all. I just need a vent, and, there it is. I wish the hoops didn't exist, I wish I could say what I want to say, and I wish that things in this world could be different. But I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't go out there and make good on my desires. What I'm trying to say through all this bullshit is that I don't want anyone else to be like me. If you see something you want, if you feel a certain way about a woman, then just say fuck it and go for it. You'll feel a lot better. Don't wait till the end of the summer, or the end of a semester, or the weekend, or even in an hour. If you don't start now, you'll never begin, and you'll beat yourself up more. If you don't go out and get what you want now (or at least try) then I will personally come to your house and beat the fucking shit out of you.




Told you I wasn't in a good mood. Oh, I didn't? Sorry.




Well, no, I'm not really sorry.
















What the hell are you still on my site for? Get your ass away from the computer and go get what you want. Now.




Don't get me wrong, I love women. A lot. Or else I wouldn't be so addicted to emo and Love. And the poems, don't forget them. This entire site wouldn't exist if I didn't like girls and poetry.